Routine has begun to mean life to certain people. I fear adamant routine, and yet recently, I have discovered myself as becoming a walking corpse of habit. My life is slowly breaking down into the fundamental atomic particles that constitute my human interactions and I am quick to admit that I quiver at this thought. When people are only walking through the accepted motions of life, the same people slowly begin to deteriorate into faint images of their past selves.
That used to be something I believed in strongly, but now I'm starting to accept the fact that nobody is exempt from the world machine. We are all components of equal status and value destined to become the exact same ideas manifested in different forms.
Today I was told by one of the most dear people to me that I am clearly without any form of motivation. It is relatively true, but not entirely. I have romantic hopes, dreams, desires, needs, and those are all motivating factors for me, but apparently the aforementioned pure forms of natural inspiration do not match up to the undeniable motivating power of humanely suggested fear, gluttony, and jealousy. It would seem that these are not parts of my intellectual basis, even after attempts at synthesis. My psychologist and I have both tried to scare me into action, I have found myself to be jealous at times, but timid to compete, and I have even tried to convince myself that money is the key to my own happinness. I need something, a means, a forced decision, anything that would require activity from me. I believe I once aspired to be something, but have managed to lose hope. Please help me. Give me life.
On 10/19/06, Darién Montañez Swear to god, child, this is the most interesting piece of spam i have ever received. That is unless you count the time i convinced some girl to send me a copy of the ten-page email she wrote to herself while high on mushrooms so she wouldn't forget all the insights on the working of the universe she had gained through her little innocent foray. So what I'm saying is i like your style and certainly want to read more. Bring it on, -Darién
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