Darién does the movies

as you all surely know, wednesdays is half-price movie day in panama. that is half of four US dollars, thank you. so for the last two wednesdays i've put on my white shoes

and gone watch some obscure (although i will sometimes settle for cheesy) flick. last week i watched all seven hours of Der Untergang. god how i loved it. for one thing, i have a soft spot for those movies that turn your stomach from minute one. "oh i just know this will not end nicely." you know, like "monster", or anything by lars von trier. i was literally squirming in my seat every time the fuhrer raised his voice. good times, good times. plus, how can you help but love a movie where the only character that is even slightly likeable is a megalomaniac architect who ends up getting sentenced to like forty years during the nuremberg trial. oh two thumbs up, way up.

then today i was dragged by my family into watching La Marche de l'empereur. god, i don't mind my two dollars, but i certainly want those two hours back. fucking awful. two thumbs down, way down my throat. a fifteen-minute animal planet special we've all seen stretched to feature-length. of course the stretching is accomplished by the most unfortunate pseudo-poetic mumbo-jumbo you can imagine. and let's not forget the horrendous soundtrack. it's like they told some intern to do her worst múm falsetto and try and sound like vespertine while singing about snow, south poles and mothers. oh wait, that's the real björk. but you know what i mean. i almost peed my pants when i read the tracklist way at the end of the credits. (yes, i'm that big a masochist.) names like "the egg" and "horror of the monster-birds". i guess the beauty of matmos is that they're easily replicated. and there are only like two sound-effects, repeated ad nauseam for additional effect. i swear, if i ever hear bill-snapping again i'll just snap. when we bought our tickets, the cashier girl asked us if we were aware it was a documentary (as opposed, i guess, to an action flick.) of course, being the pedantic prick that i am, i just nodded my head patronizingly and walked to the theater feeling all smug, laughing at the idiotic crowds who must have complained. little did i know. that will learn me.

but, hey, i guess i enjoyed some parts. two words: baby penguins.

two more words: Giant Petrel.